Depts of my Insanity
by blackflame28
Summary: *updated Jan. 3* What if the Senshi world was all false? A dream of Serena's?
1. Default Chapter

Chapter One: The Senshi of Fire 

The Senshi and I were in my room, as always, but instead of discussing the new evils of Japan we were celebrating! We were out of high school. Mina, Lita, Amy and Serena were all going to Tokyo University next week. They all thought I would be sad that I won't be joining but, actually it was the opposite. Sure I wanted to but my dreams were coming true now. By fall I would be a full priestess. Grandpa would be needing more help as Chad was leaving and Grandpa was getting sicker. I could help full time now at the temple. I even had some ideas to make the temple more profitable. We needed more money. Our temple needed some new repairs and it cost a lot of money to feed the Senshi. Sure Lita helped a lot but Serena, as much I love her, needs to stop eating so bloody much!

"Oh! I'm so excited!" Mina gushed, "New guys! Hot guys!" Lita nodded in agreement. Amy nodded too. I knew, from our own personal talks, that Amy was sad about going to Tokyo University. She really wanted to join Darien at Harvard but decided, not telling us, she thought it would be better if she stayed. We were always worried that a new evil was coming even though there hadn't been one since Galaxia, unless you count all those TV evils the producers make their fictional Senshi fight. We have our own TV show. They think my name is Martha. Do I look like a Martha to you? Yuck! After Amy told me of her decision I tried to convince her to go for Harvard but the deadline had passed.

"Raye!" Serena looked at me all teary eyed, "I'm going to miss you!" she sobbed. I rolled my eyes. None of my friends were moving away! Serena is something else. I stunk my tongue out at her.

"Meatball Head, you are going to come here right after school anyway! It's not like you're moving!" Lita laughed in agreement. Serena nodded, trying not to cry. I sighed.

"Meatball Head, cheer up… I think I have some chocolate cookies left from last time you guys were here." I said. I was actually trying to save them for me and Grandpa but anything to stop Serena from flooding my bedroom. Mina shook her head and held up an empty tin.

"Um… we kind of ate them right now." Mina said. I sighed again. How is it that all my friends, except Amy, were such pigs? Grandpa knocked on my door. I stood up and slide the door open a tad bit.

"What?" I asked. Probably Grandpa was spying again and was going to whine about how we ate all the cookies- again. He looked anxious.

"Rachel…" he paused. Rachel? Why would he be using my full name? Even when he was made Grandpa never called me Rachel, "Phone." I told my friends I would be back in a minute and went down the hall and picked up the phone.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Rachel Hino?" a man's voice asked me.

"It's Raye." I replied. I don't really like being called Rachel. It sounds too serious.

"Your mother and I named you Rachel." The man snapped. I was getting angry. Who on Earth was thing freak?

"What do you want?"

"I want to meet you." He replied.

"Sorry I tend not to meet pedophiles." I snapped.

"I'm your father! Didn't your grandfather tell you that?" the man cried. My father? I hadn't talked or communicated with my father since the day he dropped me off when I was two. He hadn't bothered to care about me at all.

"Like I said." I snapped. Anger filled me. I didn't want to see this man! Grandpa in every aspect, except one, was my father! That man… Marcus Hino… wasn't my dad at all!

"Listen, Rachel-"

"Raye."

"Rachel, I'm a busy man and I want to see you. Come down to City Hall at noon tomorrow."

"What if I'm busy?" I snapped.

"You're a child. You do not have plans. Tomorrow." Then he hung up! I slammed the phone down. I heard my door open. But I was too furious to care! I'm just a child? I'm the bloody Sailor Senshi of Mars! I'm the Protector of Princess Serenity and the future Crystal Tokyo! What did Father expect me to do? Drop all my plans for him! And why did I call him father? Suddenly I felt my friends all around me, hugging me. They knew I was upset. I looked at Amy. Only the Senshi of Water knew my anger at my father. Amy and I were a lot closer than everyone thought we were. We bonded the second we met, in both life times.

"That was your father?" she asked me. I nodded. Serena smiled.

"Wow! Isn't that good news? I mean you haven't heard of him in a long time?" Serena didn't understand. Her parents loved her. Neither left her. Mom didn't have a choice but Marcus Hino… he could have stayed. He could have raised me or at least send me birthday cards or visited me once or twice. He had no idea who I am! Okay neither does Grandpa but at least he has same idea.

I told my friends what Marcus Hino had said to me. They all felt bad for me and offered to come with me. I told them I should probably do this on my own. I wasn't in any mood for partying after that phone call so Lita, Mina and Serena left soon after. Amy stayed. We didn't talk but just sat there playing cards. I wasn't very good at chess but cards were something Amy and I were equal at. Amy didn't make me talk but let me beat her at cards. She let me sort out my thoughts. She understood me in ways the other Senshi didn't.

~~~~~~~~~~

I was in a skirt. I don't wear skirts that often but Grandpa convinced me to dress up for my father. For the man for abandoned me. So I was in a skirt with a blouse. I entered City Hall. A man in a suit was waiting for me. He led me up to Hino's office. I waited outside in the waiting room. I wondered what my "father" looked like. Did I look like him or mom? I prayed to the Spirits that I looked like my mother. The door opened and Marcus Hino stepped out. His dark brown hair was cut short but he had my eyes. He had my purple eyes. He smiled at me.

"Rachel." He said. I stood up.

"Raye." I followed him into his office and closed the door. He sat behind the desk like this was a business meeting. I suppose it was. I wasn't going to open my heart to him after sixteen years of nothing.

"Or should I call you Rei? High Princess of Mars and guardian to the Lunar Princess?" he said, smirking at me. I was shocked. No one outside the Senshi group knew that. I remained silent. I would let him play his games. I wasn't his mouse to catch.

"You think I hadn't paid any attention to my daughter these past years?" he asked. I said nothing. I hated him. Why didn't he make contact?

"I did. My little girl is a priestess and a Senshi. What a future you have, Rachel."

"Raye!" I cried, "Just because you spied on me doesn't mean you can call me whatever you want! I am Raye Hino! Not Rachel or Rei or whatever!" I stood up, "If you are just going to tell me that you are a lousy father I know that; I have better things to do!"

"A spitfire, aren't you? Got that from your dad." He replied smirking. I wanted to show him the full extend of the Senshi of Mars. A little fire would do nicely. Boom.

"I got nothing from you." I replied. He laughed. He seemed to enjoy this.

"I'm going to give you a job." He stated.

"I have a job." I retorted.

"A real job." He smirked.

"I have a real job. The temple needs people."

"A hooky religion." He snapped.

"That 'hooky religion' has saved my ass who knows how many times!" I cried. One of my powers even came from the religion! If it wasn't for that Temple and Grandpa I wouldn't have half the powers I did now! Marcus Hino laughed.

"You saved your ass a lot of the times, not that religion. That is not the point. I am going to give you a paying job."

"I don't have the time." I said. He just didn't seem to listen.

"Never mind the Temple. You will be working for me. I have a special job for you." I sighed. Whatever I said to him didn't seem to matter.

"I can't!" I cried, "Grandpa needs me! Since Chad has left there is no else to work at the Temple!" Sure money would be good; I could donate to the Temple. Marcus Hino jumped to his feet.

"Your whole life I've worked at getting you this job! You will work it!" he screamed. I shivered. I sensed a strange energy in the room. I didn't like this. I looked at him; right in his purple eyes and said, "You will not tell me what to do! You haven't bothered with me at all. Grandpa needs me." I turned and left the office. I didn't start to cry until I crossed the street. I turned my back on my father! That could have been my only chance for me to know him! I didn't understand why I cared so much. I didn't want to.

~~~~~~

_Knock. Knock._ People knocking on my bedroom door always sounded weird. I looked in the mirror. Great, now whoever was there would know I was crying.

"Raye?" Serena called to me.

"Just a second." I answered. There was nothing I could do now. I slide open by door. The Senshi stood on the other side. Lita was holding a huge chocolate cake; Mina was holding an enormous jug of chocolate milk. Amy was holding a soft teddy bear. Serena wrapped me in hug.

"Raye…" she whispered. I pulled away.

"Hi guys. Shouldn't you be getting ready?" I asked. The remaining Senshi walked in. Then I noticed four more Senshi- Amara, Michelle, Hotaru and Trista. Hotaru smiled at me.

"Hey Fire." Amara said. During the past years the Outer Senshi had nicknamed all of us by our elements. Truth be told I never really trusted Amara or Michelle fully when I heard that they backstabbed Serena. They said it was a plan but I don't believe it. They killed Saturn and Pluto. But I welcomed them into my room and I sat on my bed. Lita gave me a slice on the cake. I love chocolate. I bite into it and tasted heaven.

"Thanks Lita." I said. Amy put the bear on my bed. She didn't say anything. She didn't need to. I understood. That was her last gift from her father. She hadn't heard from him since the battle with the Dark Moon Circus. Mina passed out the milk.

"So what happened?" Serena asked softly. I told them what that man, what else could I call him?, said. Lita looked furious.

"Spied on you? You could put him in jail!" she cried.

"I don't have any proof… and I don't see the need." I stood up and opened my door and walked outside. I didn't want to hear them be outraged and listen to them care. I wanted to handle this on my own. I shouldn't have told them.

"So you are going to leave a nice apartment, cushy job for this? For them?" a voice asked me. I jumped and with an ancient scroll in my hand I whirled around.

"Marcus Hino!" I cried. I put my guard down. Not a youma… though I would like one right now to kick it's ass.

"Father would be better, Rachel."

"If you refuse to call me by my name, why would I call you Father? Especially since you were never one to me." I snapped. 

"I'm now."

"It's a little late." I turned away from him. I assumed my friends were hiding in the hallway, listening to this. Hino grabbed my shoulders and whirled me around.

"You are going to take this job!" he cried.

"You need to learn to brush." I countered. He slapped me across the face. I could hear the gasps from my friends. I touched the scroll again. He began to yank me down the stairs of the Temple. Furious I kicked his feet out from under him. That made me fall too but at least I was prepared. I tumbled myself to the bottom step and jumped to my feet; ready to fight. Hino smiled at me then clapped.

"If you do not take this job your future you want so badly will not happen." Suddenly I stumbled to my feet- a vision.

~~~~

_Serena looked tired as she held three- year- old Rini by her hand. In her other arm was another little girl. _

_ "I named her Chibi- Chibi," She told me, "This is not what was suppose to happen. Another evil came and killed Darien after our wedding." _

_ "Then Chibi- Chibi?" I asked. She didn't look at me. I understood. _

_ "Do you know who it was?" I asked. _

_ "The lord and master of this world." She whispered. _

_ "Who is that?" _

_ "Our worst nightmare. Damn it Rei! If you took that bloody job you could have stop him! We would have been prepared!" I froze. This was my fault? Because I didn't want to leave everyone I cared about? Because I didn't want to become my father? _

_ "Why couldn't we power up?" I asked. _

_ "We couldn't with a member of our team dead." Serena said. Chibi- Chibi began to cry; Rini joined in. _

_ "Who?" I whispered, dread filling me. Who could have died? Lita, Mina, Amy were so strong. They could fight anything off. _

_ "You."_

~~~~~~~~  
I looked at Marcus Hino.

"Me?" I asked. He knelt to me.

"Power isn't just in the Senshi. The parents of the Senshi have power too." He whispered.

"I'm suppose to guard you?" I asked him. He shrugged and began to walk away. Serena stepped out of the Temple. I am supposed to protect my Princess. I couldn't be the reason why she was…

"Stop. I'll do it." I whispered. He turned to me and smiled. I followed him out of the courtyard. If this was my duty, let me do it.

Chapter Two: Senshi of Nature 

We gathered at Amy's house. She was going to tell us about Raye. Raye just left us at her house; without another word. She didn't return. Her grandfather called all of us this morning, asking if we have talked to her. Amy said she knew what was going on. So here we were, in her bedroom.

"Queen Serenity wanted all the Senshi be protected. She knew that if one of the Princess Protectors were hurt then Serenity would be in danger and it would make it almost impossible for us to power up to our Eternal forms. We needed to be a team. So when we were conceived our parents were gifted with powers to protect us. They were suppose to only be activated when we were in danger and could not protect ourselves," Amy explained, "But since the age of Crystal Tokyo is drawing closer the Earth can feel the power and our parents seem to be able to sense and use their powers. Raye's dad is one of them. He knows he is dangerous and wants his daughter, the reason for his magic, to guard over him."

"Why couldn't she tell us?" I cried, "We have a right to know!" Amy nodded.

"I don't know. All this I have found out on my own. We must be careful." Serena looked confused.

"Could our siblings have magic too?" she asked. Amy shrugged.

"I don't know. Maybe only Raye's father has awoken up. I don't know." I sighed. My parents had magic to protect me. I smirked to myself. They weren't allowed to use it. They weren't given the chance. _"Well, Queen Serenity, nice going but I still had to survive on my own."_ I thought. I sighed inwardly. I have been a little bitter lately. I totally felt for Raye. She grew up without a dad and I understood but when he came back to her she was rude. I couldn't stop myself from thinking that at least her dad could come back. I looked out the window. I was being usually quiet. Serena picked up on that. She smiled weakly at me. She knew that she couldn't possibly understand what I was feeling. I stood up.

"I need to go." I said and left Amy's apartment. I walked down the street, knowing I should have probably called a taxi from Amy's apartment. Serena ran after me.

"Lita?" she called. I stopped and waiting for her to catch up. Serena and I were pretty close.

"Hey, Serena." I said. She just looked at me.

"Lita, need to talk?" she asked. I shook my head.

"Nah… just bummed. Times like these I wished I knew my parents. You guys are my family but sometimes…"

"I know. We aren't the same." Serena, always full of hugs, hugged me. I smiled. Yeah, I didn't have a mom or dad anymore but I had the Senshi. They were my family now.

"Thanks Sere." I whispered. Serena grinned, her whole face lighting up.

"Want to come back to Amy's?" she asked. I shook my head. I really needed to get home and start dinner. My plants needed watering and I should drop off my rent at the landlord's. Serena hugged me again.

"Call me tonight." Now a question but a command. Serena knew me better than anybody else. I nodded and took off down the street. Silently I thanked the universe for the Senshi.

~~~~~~~

A week had gone by since Raye disappeared. We have been keeping an eye for her but both Raye and her father had disappeared. The Senshi and I have been working non- stop at the Temple. Grandpa Hino wants to pay us but we refuse. I enjoy working at the Temple. It's so relaxing and peaceful. I was working by myself today. Grandpa Hino was down at the Police Station. He had been going down there a lot. He gave them tons of pictures and information about Raye. I don't think he has connected Marcus's appearance with Raye's disappearance. When Grandpa Hino wasn't at the police station he would be at the Sacred Fire. All of the Senshi brought a Lost Charm. It's supposed to help the owner of the charm find things that they lost. Personally I don't believe in charms but the money would help Grandpa Hino. As I cleaned up the table for the night I heard a quiet, "hello?" I walked to the edge of the stairs and saw a man in a wheelchair sitting at the bottom. I ran down the stairs.

"Do you need help?" I asked. I wondered if I could pick him up. I wondered if it would be safe.

"I've lost someone and I heard this would be a place to get help." He answered. I smiled at the crippled man.

"I don't think so. Have you tried the police station?"

"I didn't think it would be safe." He said. I was confused but also on edge. Could he be an enemy? That was one bad thing about being a Senshi; everyone was a potential enemy.

"Why is that?"

"She's a minor and lives on her own." Oh. She was like me. He was probably afraid to get child services involved. Then I wondered why she was on her own? Did she run away? The man started to cry. I knelt down to his level.

"I'm sure you will find her."

"I haven't seen her since she was ten. Lita, where are you?" he whispered. I froze. Ten? That's how old I was when my family died. I ran up the stairs. I didn't want all those memories flooding back to me. I had a brother. An older brother. He went to the hospital when he found out Mom and Dad were killed. He told me to stay at home. He didn't want me to see them. He never returned for me. I figured that he was either killed too or didn't want to deal with a child. He was sixteen. He had a life in front of him. I remember those weeks afterwards. I wanted to die. I prayed that I would not wake up in the morning. My wish never came true. Finally I forced myself to learn to take care of myself.

I cleaned up the table and put up the closed sign. I walked out to the pool behind the Temple. I sat by the water. Tears filled my eyes. I never cried. I hated to cry. Be strong! Be strong!

"Be strong!" I cursed myself. The water hit my bare feet. Tears fell off my face harder now. Damn it. Damn it! Damn Raye for leaving! Damn my parents! Damn them all! I jumped to my feet and just ran. When I was younger I did one of two things to kill my fear, anger or whatever. I would run or cook. I ran past cute boys, I ran past young children; I just ran. I burst through the doors of my apartment building and ran up the stairs to my apartment. There at the door was that man. He knocked on the door.

"Can I help you?" I snapped. I wanted tonight to let out my anger.

"Lita?" he whispered.

"Who are you?" I demanded.

"Brian." He replied. Brian. My brother? Could this really be my brother? Tears filled my eyes. That wavy brown hair, those green eyes and my dad's nose. My brother?

"Brian?" I whispered. He nodded and rolled over to me.

"Lita…" We began to cry.

~~~~~~~~~

We were sitting in my living room. I had just made a cup of tea.

"What happened? Why didn't you return?" I asked. I was calmer down. My freak out had pasted. They never lasted long.

"I was hit by a drunk driver." He pointed to his legs, "I lost all feeling."

"But why didn't come back? Why did you leave me alone for eight years?" I wanted to know.

"I also received amnesia. I didn't know I had a little sister. Lita, I'm so sorry." He whispered. I didn't say anything. He forgot me. I smiled.

"Thank you for finding me." Brian raised an eyebrow.

"Why didn't you try to find me?"

"I was ten. I thought you didn't want me around." We hugged again. I loved being with my brother. My brother! I had family! Real biological family! Suddenly the mood got really serious.

"Lita, can you feel when storms are coming?" he asked. I nodded. I didn't explain why. One little gift from the planet Jupiter.

"So can I." I froze. The powers to protect the Senshi hit my mind. Did he also have magic?

"Since when?" I asked him.

"Since you were born. Remember when we were younger and a storm was coming I would always have our tent up? We use to hide in there as the thunder crashed." I nodded. When I was five I began to abandon the tent; Brian stayed in the tent. I loved watching the storms. I understand now why I loved the storms.

"Do you sense one now?" he asked me. I shook my head. The sky had been clear all day and my hair wasn't doing that weird curly thing it usually did when a storm was coming.

"I meant a mental one." He whispered. I froze again. A mental one? These powers our family scared me and I wondered if our Princess was in danger. I stood up and walked to the balcony for a moment's peace. The sun was setting. I starred at the red sun, reminding of Raye. Where was she now?

"Lita? I didn't mean to scare you." Brian said as he wheeled up to me. I faced him with a smile.

"You didn't," I answered, "What other powers do you have?" Brian seemed taken back by those words.

"Powers!" he cried, "I am no witch!"

"I didn't mean that!" I touched his shoulder, "Are storms all you sense?"

"During the past four years I have sick to my stomach for no reason at all. Then I discovered why."

"Why?" I was scared of the answer. I loved my brother and I didn't want him to know that I wasn't a normal sister. I didn't want him to know that I was a Senshi. He didn't look at me.

"I'm tired," he stated, "I should go."

"Where?" We were avoiding the why question.

"I have a hotel room."

"You can stay here."

"No… I'll see you tomorrow, after school?" Brian then left my apartment. I flopped down on the chesterfield. I was so tired.

~~~~~~~~~~

Serena came home with me after school today.

"So you think he knows?" Serena asked me. I nodded. I opened my door and walked to the kitchen. I was dying for a hot cup of tea.

"Any word on Raye?" I asked. Serena shook her head but said nothing. It was unusual for her to remain quiet. I wondered if she was troubled by the magical family members problem. Was this even a problem? I began to water my plants as Serena sat down in the living room. I loved my plants. They brought so much life to the room. Sometimes Serena reminds me of my plants: full of life but in need of nurture. I would never tell my Princess that! I poured the tea and handed a cup to Serena. I felt like I was going through the motions. Then came the knock. I looked at Serena.

"Do you think it's him?" she whispered. I nodded and walked towards the door. My heart was in my throat. I recalled the 'why' question. Would I discover the answer today? Would Serena over hear or would she go home soon? I opened the door; Serena stood behind me.

"Brian." I stated. He smiled at me.

"Who is this?" he asked cheerfully as I allowed my older brother into my home.

"I'm Serena Tsukino. I'm Lita's best friend." She shook his head.

"Is that all?" he asked. I felt numb. Something wasn't right.

"Yes…" Serena looked at me.

"Sere has been my friend since I moved here." I said. Brian nodded and looked at our teacups.

"Why." He whispered.

"Why what?" Serena looked confused and stole glances at the two of us. I understood. Brian was never one to dance around the bush. Why did he feel sick?

"Mokusei Makoto." I stared at him. That was my name during the Silver Millennium. Mokusei meant planet Jupiter. Serena was touching her Eternal locket. She looked at me. I nodded. I was okay. He wasn't an enemy. Honestly I wasn't sure of that but I didn't want Serena to worry.

"How did you know that?" I demanded.

"I just do. You are the Senshi of Protection, Sailor Jupiter." I nodded.

"How?" Serena whispered.

"Are you the Moon Princess?" he asked Serena. She looked at me again. I was filled with dread.

"Go." I told her. She looked at me and ran from my apartment. Brian watched Serena ran.

"You know the danger. You know the danger that your Princess is in." he wheezed. A storm was coming.

"What do you want Ikazuchi Fuwa? (Thunder Trouble)" I demanded. In my hand my wand materialized.

"The power is strong. Makoto! Help me!" Brian whispered. I suddenly understood the dilemma Raye was in. Abandon your friends in order to protect them or stay with them and watch your family destroy the world with power they shouldn't have?

"Brian…" tears filled my eyes, "Juno!" I made my decision quickly. If this was my duty, let me do it. 


	2. Senshi of Love

Chapter Three: Senshi of Love 

No one knows this but I hate my home. There is nothing I can do that makes my mother happy. I would love to tell her that I am Sailor Venus. I would love to tell her about all the times I helped Sailor Moon save the world. How many times I saved England when I was Sailor V. That would get her off my case. But I can't so I have to put up with it. I opened the door to my house and walked in.

"Hello?" I whispered, I hoped I would be able to run straight to my room. It was around eleven o'clock at night. It was a school night. Mom would be angry. Serena, Amy and I were searching for Raye and Lita. Both had disappeared. Serena has been very upset lately. She said that she ran from Lita's even though she knew Lita was in trouble. She said she felt like such a coward. I tried my best to cheer her up but nothing did. I hate seeing Serena sad. I am determined to find out the mystery of the magical family members. I winced at the thought that my mom might have magic.

"Mina!" my mom yelled as I was halfway up the stairs.

"Oh hi mom!" I said half giggling with nervousness. I think I was also supposed to be grounded. I never listened to my groundings. As a Senshi I had be to out whenever danger came.

"Why were you doing out of the house?" she demanded.

"I was on the porch getting fresh air?" I asked. I didn't like lying to my mom. I didn't feel right about that, strangely enough.

"When you are suppose to be in your room asleep?"

"Air is good." I fibbed.

"With your school clothes on? Did you even come home today?"

"Yes!" that was the truth… I came home right now.

"Mina! I don't know what I'm going to do with you. Just go to your room." I think this was the first time mom seemed to have given up on me. I know she thinks I'm some kind trouble- maker how does drugs, drinks and smokes. How I wanted to tell her that I was a Senshi. I walked to my room and sat down on my bed. I looked around for Artemis. He must have gone to Amy's. I'm glad that Amy has my cat, I mean company is always good when one is sad but I wanted my best friend with me tonight. I got up and sat down at my mirror and began to wash my long blonde hair. Taped to the wooden rim of my mirror were pictures of my best friends. I had also stuck newspaper clippings from when I was Sailor V. I plucked the picture of the Inners off my mirror. It was taken after the battle with Queen Beryl; the day we remembered. We were fourteen. I smiled as I realised how much we changed. That we were now at university. I dropped the picture on the table and looked around my room. Stuff animals were everywhere. They were on my shelves, my bed and in my closet. No wonder Artemis hated my room, it was so little girlish. I glanced at my other pictures- the other I snapped when Raye and Serena were having a tongue war; one with Amy studying; one with Lita cooking in the kitchen; one with me and Serena drooling over food; a picture with Darien and Rini; Hotaru and Rini; Amara and Michelle and one with Trista holding her Time Staff. On top of my mirror was one with all of us: the Inners, the Outers, Star Lights, Darien and Rini. I brushed off a couple of tears that were falling off my face. How many friends have I lost because I was a Senshi? This was one of the few times I hated being a Senshi. I grabbed a picture of me and my family. I could have been a model, an actress or a famous singer by now! But no! It was always no.

I laid now on my bed, still in my school clothes. I love my friends and they were leaving. Raye went to be with her dad and Lita went to be with her brother. Who could blame them? Honestly? I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

~~~~~~~

I met Serena in front of the Tokyo U. She looked tired.

"Hey Mina." She mumbled.

"Where's Amy?" I asked. Panic crossed my mind- had she disappeared too? By I covered my feelings from Serena.

"She went ahead. What are you doing after classes?"

"Nothing." Suddenly I spotted this really hot guy. He was standing under a tree, not looking/ looking at me. I smiled at him. He blushed and looked away.

"Earth to Mina!" Serena stood waving a hand in front of my face. I glared at her.

"What?" I snapped.

"Going to come with Amy and I to looked for Raye and Lita?" Think of a lie quick!

"Can't… need to… uh… study!" then I ran up the stairs and entered the crowded hallways of my University.

"Excuse me?" I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around. It was that guy!

"Hi." I said smiling that model smile.

"I'm Evan… I couldn't help noticing you outside." He said.

"I'm Minako- Mina." I turned bright red. Why on Earth did I say my Venusian name… Kinsei Minako.

"Minako?" Evan asked me.

"Mina, just Mina." I corrected him quickly. I didn't want to be called Minako.

"Hello Just Mina. I…" he looked away for a second, "I… what… um… how…" I giggled. I knew what he was trying to do. I tried to stop giggling but his stammering made it all the more funnier. Finally I stop and before he finished the question I said yes. He smiled. We made plans to meet tonight at the Radio Tower. Okay I know. Whoop- dee- do. The Radio Tower but I had a good feeling. Oh I did until I remember Raye and Lita. I hurried to my Psyche class. What kind of friend was I?

~~~~~~~

I removed the big red bow from my hair. I've worn that since seventh grade. It's about time I grew up. Artemis crept into my room.

"Mina! What happened to all your stuffed animals?" As soon as I got home I brought up a bunch of cardboard boxes and put my animals inside. I was a University student now! I was an adult! I threw the red ribbon in the box.

"I'm acting my age." I declared to my feline friend. Artemis made a face.

"Red bows and stuffs are you Mina!" he pulled out my teddy bear. I rolled my eyes and yanked the fuzzy bear from him. I returned to my mirror and began to apply some makeup.

"Makeup for hunting for Raye and Lita?" he asked as he curled up on my bed. I sighed. I wondered if it was too late to get into residence. Then everyone would leave me alone!

"I'm not searching. Geez Artemis! We are acting like fools! Raye and Lita were smart. They got out of here because we are free. There aren't any more enemies! Our fighting days are over and we need to grow up. Sorry Art but we aren't little miss princess planet anymore. We are adults with dreams and futures. We don't want to tied down to some mythical place anymore." I snatched my purse off my bed. Artemis stood up.

"What about Serenity? About Crystal Tokyo? About the real future?" he demanded.

"Find another sap who wants to risk their neck all the time." I put my hand on my doorknob.

"Mina, what's wrong with you? You never use to mind being a Senshi. You know it's a part of you and you accepted it. Why are you fighting now?" he whispered. Why _was_ I fighting it now? I threw my door open and glared at my cat.

"Why don't you go live at Amy's? I'm sure she still loves to play princess." Then I descended now the stairs, blinking back tears. Artemis was right. I wasn't acting like myself. I locked my house door and began to walk towards the bus stop. Why was I fighting my destiny?

~~~~~~

I loved kissing Evan. It felt so right. And when I was with him all my worries and my stress about being a Senshi or about my friends missing were gone. I was at peace. I smiled at Evan.

"Hi…" I whispered as he kissed me again.

"Minako…" Okay, he wouldn't stop calling me that. But it was okay. Everything was okay. We had walked about the park and had a nighttime picnic near the pond in the park. It was so romantic.

"Where's your bow?' he asked me.

"I don't always wear it." I said pulling away from him. I walked closer to the water's edge in my bare feet.

"Yes you do." He whispered as he put his arms around me. I giggled.

"I guess then I realized it was time for me to grow up." I turned around to face him but his eyes weren't on me anymore. A look of terror was on his face. I turned to face where he was looking and gasped. A youma! I didn't understand. I thought they were all gone. Suddenly it didn't matter. I had to transform and Evan had to get out of here!

"Let's go!" I said to him, pulling on his arm.

"No…" he whispered, he didn't look at me. I smacked his arm, hard. He broke away from the spell and turned back to me.

"Run." We began to run as fast as we could, leaving our stuff behind. I knew I had to break away from him. I jumped up on a tree bench yelling, "Keep running!" then with perfect balance I summoned my wand and communicator.

"Sere! Amy! Youma in the park! Hurry!" I cried into the watch like object.

"On our way!" Serena answered. I held up my wand, crying inside. I didn't want to do this again! I wanted to grow up!

"Venus Crystal Power! Make- Up!" Golden light covered me as I felt my clothes disappear and my gold and blue fuku appeared. I pushed my hair out of my face as I poised and then I jumped down from the tree. I ran to the enemy.

"Stop! I am on a mission of love! You broke up a chance for romance and as the Senshi of Love I will punish you! I am Sailor Venus!" I winced as I finished. No more speeches, I sounded like I was a preteen! The youma faced me.

"Venus! Just the one I want to see!" Suddenly the park disappeared and we reappeared in my room at the Venusian Palace.

"What the-?" I exclaimed.

"This is a test." The youma had transformed into my Earthly mother!

"Mom?" I cried, "What is going on?" I heard my communicator beep.

"Don't answer. Mina… help me. Strong magic is taking over me and I cannot fight it. Why are you letting this happen?"

"Me? I didn't…" I stammered. I didn't understand. Suddenly the Venusian Palace disappeared and we were back at home. I was Mina again and my mom was sitting on the couch. I didn't understand.

"Please Mina!" Mom pleaded with me.

"But the youma?" I asked.

"The magic does that." She replied. I sighed. My destiny. To protect Earth was my destiny. To protect my princess was my destiny.

"What can I do?"

"I have talked with Marcus Hino and Brian Kino. Raye and Lita are using their magic to pull ours out of us. It isn't working. Raye and Lita are hurt."

"Hurt?" I cried.

"We are getting stronger."

"Serena and Amy must be warned!" I cried. I turned to move for the door but my love chain tied around my legs and I fell to the ground.

"You can't. This is your new destiny. Your rebirth cursed all those around you and you must pay!" mom cried.

"No!" I began to cry, "I didn't choose this! I didn't want this! Mommy…" she pulled on the chain and dragged me closer to her. This wasn't my duty!

"Mommy!" I cried. My world began to turn black. The last thing I saw was the golden sign of Venus. 


	3. Senshi of Water

Chapter Four: Senshi of Water 

I tried the communicator again. No answer. I looked at Eternal Sailor Moon.

"Mercury… you don't think…" Sailor Moon couldn't finish her thought. I shook my head. No. We weren't going to lose another Senshi! I refused to believe it! I opened my computer and I tried to scan for Venus' energy signature. I couldn't find it anywhere in the ten block area. We de-transformed. I looked at Serena again. She seemed to be fighting back tears.

"Oh God… please not Mina." She whispered. A guy ran up to us. He had wavy blonde- brown hair and dark green eyes.

"Excuse me? I was wondering if you have seen someone." He looked doubtful.

"Who?" I asked.

"Her name was Mina. She had long blonde hair, much like yours, miss." He gestured to Serena. Mina.

"We are looking for her too." Serena whispered. The guy looked confused.

"She called us on her cell phone for help. We can't find her." I explained.

"I hope that monster didn't get her. I lost my brother to one of those before." He said. Serena and I paled. Someone died because of a youma. I suddenly felt worthless. All the fighting we have done saved some lives but not all. Someone died because we weren't strong enough. I couldn't help thinking that someone died because _I_ wasn't strong enough. I tried not to look too guilty. Serena looked at me, her tears threatening to fall at any second.

"Amy, what do you think happened to her?" she asked me. I looked at the guy. I needed to do some more research. I didn't have any proof but I was sure the Senshi were disappearing due to our magical family. Disappearing. I had already assumed that Mina was gone. Maybe she wasn't. But then why didn't answer her communicator? Why didn't she answer us?

"Are you guys best friends with Minako?" he asked. I nodded.

"Excuse me… but what is your name?"

"Evan. And you?" Serena and I told him what's our name was.

"Sere, I'm going home. Research." I said. Serena nodded, her pigtails bobbing. I pulled out some paper and wrote down my phone number.

"Here. Call me if you find Mina." I asked. Even nodded and then gave me his number.

"I hope she's okay." So do I. So do I. 

~~~~~

I entered my house, exhausted. University wasn't what was tiring me out but the stress of my missing friends. My friends. These were my first real friends. I wasn't going to lose them. There was no way I was going to lose them. I walked into my living room. The furniture was soaked.

"Mom?" I called out. I doubted that she would be there. I understood that her hours were busy but at the same time I wished she would be home more. Who know how long before I moved out? How long it would be before a powerful enemy would swallow me up? I shook my head and told myself not to think those thoughts. Mom walked into the living room; looking as soaked as the furniture was.

"Mom?" I asked her. She looked at me strangely.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked as she sat down on the drenched sofa.

"Tell you what?" I knew what was coming.

"My daughter was Sailor Mercury and never even told me. I thought we close." She whispered. I paled.

"You were… I was… sorry mom." What else could I tell her?

"You never told me that I, as Suisei Ami's mother, had magic."

"You don't…" I fibbed. No. She couldn't know.

"But I do." She stood up. I backed up, walking into the wall. I was shivering. I knew this was bad. My henshin stick appeared in my hand.

"My daughter… my friend of water… I do!" water shot from my mother's hands and bonded my hands together. The water froze into ice. Mom walked up to me and took my wand away from me.

"Mother why?" I whispered. She laughed and slapped my face. Tears welled up and I tried not to cry.

"You did this! If you had died like you were suppose to then none of this would have happened! Getting to the Outer Senshi will be harder but I will have my revenge! You should have die!" I was filled with dread. Serenity! She was in danger. My mother clapped her hands and the ice crept up my arms. It was freezing! I fell to my knees. My world was turning black. The last thing I saw was the burning blue sign of Mercury.

~~~~~~~~

I opened my eyes and looked around me. I wasn't dressed in my school clothes but in blue sweat pants and a blue t- shirt. I also seemed to be in some sort of jail cell. I sat up. I had been lying on a hard mattress with no sheets or pillow. In the corner of the little cell was a white toilet. I didn't like this. I also noticed I wasn't wearing any socks or shoes. I walked, on the cold floor, to the bars.

"Hello?" I called out. Raye appeared in the cell across from me. She looked wore out and tired. She was wearing the same outfit but in red.

"Amy!" she cried. Then I heard Lita and Mina. I didn't see them but I figured they were next to Raye and I.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"I don't know. All I know is that we can't use our magic. Something in this cell is blocking our powers." Raye said.

"Is Serena here?" Lita asked.

"No. I think they will go after the Outer Senshi first." I replied.

"Who are they?" Mina asked. She sounded like she just woke up from a long sleep.

"I'm not sure," Raye replied, "but I think they are from the Negaverse." Suddenly a laugh filled the cold cellblock. A woman walked past each of our cells. She was wearing a small red dress, again without any shoes. Her green hair was piled up in a bun on the top of her head.

"Who are you?" Lita demanded. I guess this is the first time she appeared to the Inner Senshi.

"I am Heki. I am a warrior of the great Negaverse. You killed our Queen and our Master. You will be punished. But first I need your magic." She said.

"Never!" Raye cried. Heki laughed.

"You cannot stop me," she raised her hand and a black crystal appeared in it, "I will transfer your powers into this Crystal thus making it the Inner Crust. When the Outer Senshi comes I will make another Crystal, calling it the Outer Crust. Then when we get Serenity and Endymion…" Heki trailed off smiling happily. I glared at Heki.

"You leave my princess and prince alone! Mercury Shine Aqua Illusion!" Nothing happened. I didn't even fell the water come into me. Heki laughed and raised the Crystal. It flashed once and a tingling sensation came over me. I sank to my knees, noticing Raye was doing the same thing. Red waves seemed to radiate off her and into the Crystal. Then I noticed blue waves were coming off me. I tried to pull away from the bars but I couldn't.

"No…" I whispered. I never felt so weak. Fatigue overcame me. I tried to stay awake. I tired to fight the Crystal but it was no use. I fell to the floor unconscious.

~~~~~~

I wake up, my face pressed against the bars. I noticed Raye calling to me.

"Amy? Amy?" I sat up, rubbing my face. My blue outfit was black and I felt separated from my planet. I felt separated from the water, from ice.

"Raye?" I whispered. I was exhausted.

"Amy!"

"Amy!"

"Amy!" my three friend cried. I guess I was the last one to wake up.

"Now what?" I asked. Raye gave a cynical laugh.

"We are powerless. We wait for them to kill us." 


	4. Senshi of Destruction

Chapter Five: The Senshi of Destruction 

I sat at my desk, trying to do my homework but I couldn't. Something was wrong in the universe. It was whispering to me. I pulled out my diary. This wasn't any normal diary but the diary where I record any Senshi stuff in it. I still write in it even though there have been no enemies. But Death whispers to me. Something is coming. I opened it up and posed my pen on the page.

"Mighty Saturn, I call to you. You tell me truths now tell me what you whisper." I chanted and suddenly I felt my hand moving. I didn't look at what I was writing because I knew it would distract me from what I was doing. Finally the message was over and I looked at what I had scrawled.

"_In light there is always darkness but in pure darkness there is never light. One must end. It is the beginning of the end or the end of a beginning. Senshi together or apart… Senshi powerful or powerless. Your true form revealed or forever locked away. The beginning or the end? It is up to the Light or the Darkness. Only one may help. One who is composed of both. One who is a shadow, neither light nor dark._" I whispered. I heard the doorbell ring downstairs. I ignored it, knowing that Amara or Michelle would get it. I reflected for a moment, before returning to the cryptic message from Saturn. I used to call Amara and Michelle "mama" or "papa" but since the battle with Galaxia I cannot. It is impossible. It's not that I don't trust them; it's that they killed me and Trista- mama. They say it was a plan and for Serena's sake all the Senshi went along with that idea. But those two are a danger. They are in love with each other and only each other. They swear that they would do anything to protect the Princess but I wonder if Amara was given the choice Serenity's or Michiru's death, would she pick Michiru? I wonder the same about Michelle. I love them. They are my parents but I wonder if they could pose a danger to Serenity. But I digress.

I heard a knock on my door and quickly through my diary in my drawer. No one knows I keep the diary. I stood up and answered it.

"Serena is here." Michelle said. She looked serious and I followed to the living room. Serena sat next to Amara, sobbing. I sat at Serena's feet.

"Koneko, what is wrong?" Amara asked. I touched Serena's knee. Light met Darkness. I guess, in a way, I don't have a lot of self- esteem. I grew up thinking I am Darkness. I was born to destroy things. Sailor Uranus and Neptune, my own parents, wanted me dead and now, so they believe, they protect me from the Sailor Saturn. Serena looked at me.

"Not darkness…" she whispered. I don't think Amara heard.

"Chinsei," that was my nickname for Serena, it means tranquility, "what's wrong?"

"The Inners… they have all disappeared. Mina and Amy both disappeared tonight! And no one knows where they are! What if they are dead? Or worst? They left?" Serena began to sob again. I kept my hand on her knee. The Inner Senshi left? I thought to my message. Could that be related to this?

"Have you talked to their parents?" Michelle asked.

"Mina's and Amy's know nothing. Do you think it's the Magic of the Family?" Serena asked. Amara looked at Michelle.

"Magic of the Family? A couple of years ago 'Mara and I did some research on that. We found out that once we became Senshi any magic they might have had disappeared. This is something else."

"But Amy said that it was. Amy is never wrong. She spoke like she knew completely it was! Like Raye told her before she left!" Serena cried. She jumped to her feet, causing me to fall back. I didn't care. Why wasn't I informed for that research? Didn't I have a right to know? But I knew this wasn't the time to question it. Amara stood up and put a hand on Serena's shoulder.

"Sit. Amy could be wrong, you know." Serena whirled at her older friend.

"Amy is never wrong!" I stood up.

"Chinsei, please calm down. What else could it be? Who else would do this?" I asked. Serena shrugged as tears began to fall again. I thought of my message from Saturn. I ran upstairs, ignoring my parents questions. I yanked out my diary,

"Saturn of death, tell me what it going on!" I cried and began to write. _Pluto… Guardian of Time… Light and Darkness must battle for a time of peace or destruction. A place of love or hate. Powers missing but if Light prevails powers are gained. Light isn't alone _"_Light has her Shadow._ Firefly, what is this?" Serena asked me softly when I was finished.

"Saturn whispers. We must go to Pluto." I said as I conjured my henshin stick. Amara and Michelle ran up and saw my wand and that Serena was holding her brooch.

"What is going on?" Amara demanded.

"No time, Transform! Moon Eternal Power, Make- Up!"

"Saturn Planet Power, Make- Up!" We both transformed. Eternal Sailor Moon looked at the remaining Senshi.

"Amara, Michelle, stay here. Call the Aino's and the Mizuno's" Michelle nodded. You could tell they didn't like the idea of me and Sailor Moon going anywhere without them. I didn't care and with a flash of dark purple and white we were gone.

~~~~~~~~

"Puu?" Eternal Sailor Moon called out to the empty Gates of Time. I was familiar with this place. A couple of years ago Trista showed me around the Gates of Time and Space. She told me that I was second to be guardian if anything happened to her. I prayed that nothing would. I walked up to the doors, hearing Sailor Moon pleading that I wouldn't go far from her in the fog. Uranus and Neptune would have asked the same thing but they would have asked so they could come an eye on me, not so they wouldn't be scared. My foot touched something on the guard. I knelt and gasped at what I saw. Sailor Moon ran over to me.

"Saturn?" she asked. I clutched, in my free hand, the Time Staff. Why was that here? _Light will feel alone._ I heard whispered to me. Pluto was gone. My eyes filled with tears as I turned to Sailor Moon. She knew right away and the tears started again. I stopped myself from crying. I had to.

"Chinsei," I whispered, "we should go back." Suddenly, for no reason, ice filled me. Danger, something whispered.

"Teleport home." I commanded.

"But why?"

"Just do it." Then I, swiftly, put the Time Staff in my space pocket and teleported to my home.

~~~~~~~~

I ran, still as the Senshi of Destruction, to the living room. Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune were battling it out against a huge youma. Our living room was destroyed. I whistled to let the youma know another player was in the game. It turned to me and multiplied.

"What?" I cried, shocked. It couldn't do that!

"Careful Hotaru!" Neptune cried as she threw a Deep Submerge at one of the youmas. I jabbed it with my Glaive. It bleed purple blood. I saw my reflection in its blood. I was Darkness… I swung again this time slicing off its arm. It screamed in pain. I whirled once and finished the monster off. I turned to the remaining Senshi. Neptune was cornered against the wall and Uranus had lost her Space Sword. I went to help Neptune when the monster bit her. She screamed in pain and went limp. Uranus threw off the youma and with a grand scream she finished off her youma. I ran to help Michelle- mama but Uranus beat me. She summoned her sword and stabbed the youma to death. One more appeared.

"Uranus look out!" I cried as it bent down and bit her. Fear coursed through my tiny body. Only Serenity and I was left. I turned to face the horrid creature. It ran at me and I at it. I went to stab it but it caught my arm and I went flying forward. My Silent Glaive flew from my fingers and into the wall.

"No…" I whispered as I felt the monster sat down on my back, "No…" I could feel the burning sign of Saturn on my forehead, beneath my tiara as it bit my neck. I lost. Again I had failed my Princess.

~~~~~~~~

I hurt. I blinked once and realised that I was awake. Then I realised I was chained to a wall.

"Hotaru?" Neptune, no Michelle asked me. I wasn't in my fuku anymore but in dark purple sweat pant and a t-shirt.

"_Hai_." I whispered. I hurt.

"Serenity? Is she here?" I asked, panicked. How badly did I fail her?

"No child," Trista said, "she is still safe. The Inner Senshi are around too… but I don't know where. I sense them." A woman, then, walked into out little room. She was wearing a small red dress, again without any shoes. Her green hair was piled up in a bun on the top of her head.

"Good, you are all up." She said. Amara tried to pull away from the wall.

"Who are you?" she screamed.

"I am Heki. I am a warrior of the great Negaverse. You killed our Queen and our Master. You will be punished. But first I need your magic." She said. _'No,'_ I thought, _'I cannot let you take my power. It's the only way I can protect Serenity!'_

"You cannot!" Amara hissed at Heki. The woman laughed.

"You cannot stop me," she raised her hand and a black crystal appeared in it, "I have transferred the Inner Senshi's powers into this Crystal thus making it the Inner Crust. Now that you have all joined me, I will make another Crystal, calling it the Outer Crust. When I make the Outer Crust I need your powers! Then when we get Serenity and Endymion…" Heki trailed off smiling happily. The Negaverse. They were why we died… why I was awoken in my past life. She raised a crystal that once was black but now swirled with colours of the inner planets. I briefly had a chance to wonder what happened to the Inner Senshi when I felt my powers leak out of me. the chains snapped at I cried. My powers were flowing out of me like purple ribbons.

"No…" I whispered, as I landed on my knees. I saw my Outer Senshi's outfits turned from their planetary colours to black. I saw them past out. I saw each Senshi that once promised to forever protect Princess Serenity of the White Moon fall. I looked at Heki as she grinned as the Outer Crust was added to her Crystal. She seemed confused to see me still awake.

"You are suppose to me asleep or something!" she cried.

"No…" I whispered again, my mind focused on saving Serenity. I felt the burning of Saturn again on my forehead and then I felt my body disappear from this plain.

Coming soon: The Senshi of Light. 

The story continues from Serena Tsukino's point of view.


	5. Senshi of Light

Chapter Six: Senshi of Light 

"Teleport home." Super Sailor Saturn commanded.

"But why?" I asked. I wanted to help! These were my friends too!

"Just do it." Then Saturn, swiftly, put the Time Staff in her space pocket and teleported to her home. I stood there, the fog swirling around me. Then I left the Gates of Time.

~~~~~~~~

I arrived in my room as Serena Tsukino. I looked at my mirror and let my Star Locket play. I flopped down on my bed, exhausted with depression and loneliness. Not even Luna was around. Luna who knew me better than anyone in the whole universe and she wasn't even here now. I reached over and picked up the phone. My fingers paused as I was about to press in Darien's phone number. I stopped as I yawned. Did I want to talk to him? He knew what was going on but… I hung up my phone and closed my eyes. Everything hurt. My heart cried and I whispered, "Mother… you promised a better life. You promised that we would be happy. Why is this happening?"

~~~~~~~~~

"She's waking up." I opened my eyes and saw my mother smiled down at me. She touched my face.

"Usagi…" she whispered lovingly to me. I was confused. Why didn't she call me Usagi? That was my name on the Moon. Let me clarify that. When I wanted to be normal and have no one know that I was Serenity; I would let down my blonde/ silver hair and call myself Usagi. My mom, in this time, doesn't know I am Sailor Moon so why was she calling me Usagi?

"Mom?" I whispered. My throat was dry. Then I noticed my surroundings. I wasn't at home. The walls were white… it looked like a hospital room. Panicked I tried to get but my hands were strapped to the bed. I didn't understand.

"Mom?" I said more urgently. Why was I strapped to the bed?

"Oh honey… shh. It's okay. All that matters is that you are with us now. Just calm down." She bent over to release my right arm. I closed my eyes, trying to breathe. First my friends were gone and now this.

"What happened?" I asked when my mom finished releasing me from the bed. I noticed the doctor at the door but said nothing about him.

"Usagi, what do you remember last?" she asked me.

"Going to sleep on my bed." I replied.

"When?"

"Last night." She looked over at the doctor.

"Mom… I don't understand," I repeated, "Why am I here? What day is it?"

"Usagi, honey, it is November 15th." November 15. What happened? When I fell asleep it was only September; where did my months go?

"Amy…" I said, "Where is Amy and the others?" Mom sent a worried look at the doctor.

"Who is Amy?" she asked me softly.

"Amy Mizuno! Raye Hino! And my other friends! Where are they?" I cried. Dad, who was also there, put a hand on my shoulder.

"Usagi… you don't know a Amy Mizuno, or a Raye Hino." Dad said to me. The doctor walked up to my bed.

"Hello Miss Tsukino, I am Dr. Warner. Do you know where you are?" he asked me.

"A hospital." I replied. I felt fear enter me. It was a strange fear. I have felt fear before, especially when I fought the youmas. But this was a different type of fear.

"You are in the psychiatric ward, Usagi. You have been here since you were fourteen. You are nineteen now." Five years.

"No!" I cried, "That's not right. I finished high school. I am going to University… I haven't been here for five years!" Mom looked at Dad and began to cry. Dr. Warner nodded to them and they left.

"Usagi… tell me about your friends."

"Amy Mizuno I met in grade eight. She's really smart and pretty. She's such a wonderful friend," I giggled, "and she always helps me with my homework. Raye Hino is a priestess. I met her a few months later. She's has this hot temper and sometimes has visions. Lita Kino is an awesome cook and is really strong. She got kicked out of her last school because she got into a lot of fights. And Mina Aino… she's pretty too. She's really energetic and friendly to everyone."

"So these friends are everything you want to be?"

"No…" I trailed off. Five years… did I dream this all? No, "Where is Darien?"

"Usagi… you know these 'friends' of your aren't real, right?" I froze. He was telling me it was all a dream? No. I began to breathe heavily.

"I don't understand… please!" I whispered, tears falling off my face. I… no… it had to be real! Amy… Raye… Rini! And the Outer Senshi! It wasn't all a dream.

"Usagi-" I cut him off.

"Why do you keep calling me that?"

"What is your name?"

"Serena!" I cried. The doctor looked sad.

"Okay then Serena… do you know a Molly Baker?"

"Yes… but since I met Amy and the others I haven't had a chance to hang out with Molly. I feel bad but once we got to high school we went our separate ways." Silence again. I didn't like this. I wanted my friends. I laid down on the bed.

"Usagi… you have delusions." he said. I froze. Psychiatric ward… five years… the straps…. No.

"No," I said firmly, "You lie! They are real! They are my friends! Hotaru, Rini, Trista! They are all real!" Dr. Warner looked at his watch.

"Usagi…" he paused, "I'll be right back." He stood up and left me. I sank down on my bed. He had to wrong! I tried to reach into my space pocket and summon my brooch. I don't know why but I wanted my Crystal. I reached.

"Why can't I get it?" I whispered. I couldn't get my brooch! I sat up and jumped out of bed. On the table against the wall were pictures and cards from my family. Nothing from the Senshi. Nothing from Darien. There was no picture of Luna. Sammy walked in. He looked afraid.

"Usagi?" he whispered. I turned to him. He looked different than what I remembered.

"Sammy!" I cried. He shook his hand.

"Shingo." He replied. Shingo? I didn't… yes… that sounded familiar.

"Tell me what happened!" I begged him.

"Five years ago you came home with a really bad mark and mom told you to go to the library to study. You were angry and you left. We don't know what happened but you fell and smacked your head. You acted fine for a while but a month later so came home and began to talk about these people who didn't exist! You said something about being a Sailor Soldier. We ignored it at first because we thought it was a game but it wasn't… you thought it was real. One day… you almost died, Usagi. You almost died because you thought you were fighting a demon." My brother began to cry silently.

"No…" I said, "No that isn't true."

"We brought you to the hospital and you fell into a coma. You woke up four years ago. We thought we were cured but then they brought you back! You were gone. Usagi… you spoke of a dark moon… and chaos. It wasn't real! Then when you began to cry that your friends were disappearing I thought, we all thought, you were going to come back to us! But now Dr. Warner says you believe your name is Serena. That was something you made up! And you think I am Sammy! No! No! Damn it, Usagi! Why did you have to ruin everything?" my brother screamed at me. I backed into the wall and sank to the floor.

"No… this isn't real…" I repeated to myself. This had to be a nightmare. Sammy grabbed my face, "Don't you go away again! You cannot run from everything! Just snap out of it!" he yelled at me. Dr. Warner ran into the room and told Sammy to stop. I began to rock.

"I want to wake up…" I whispered, "time to wake up…" they pulled Sammy away from me and mom knelt in front of me.

"Usagi, come on. You are awake. Please stay with us. Please baby… please Bunny." I closed my eyes… I had to wake up. I had to wake up. 

A/N: Sorry that was short. Just a note, this chapter was based on one episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, last year. I don't remember what it was called but I loved that episode and thought it would make an awesome Sailor Moon story. Anyway, the next chapter should come out soon and *hope*hope* it will be longer. the next chapter will be Senshi of Earth and it will be about Darien. That will be hard to first person him but i will try. One more note: i wrote an author's note in the review section, it explains why i use both N/A names and the japanese names so if you want to know just check it out. Later and please review! 

PS- sorry if i got Sammy's name wrong... i was too lazy to look it up!


	6. Different Views

A/N: Okay... I promised this chapter to be by Darien but I started to but then realized there is no way I could write a whole chapter by the Earth Senshi. So I changed the chapter name and wrote this with both Serena (Usagi) and Darien.

Disclaimer: (this is the first time I have ever put a disclaimer in one of my stories!) I don't own Sailor Moon. I don't want to own Sailor Moon... just looks what happens where I get a hold of it! 

Chapter Seven: Different Views 

**Darien**

I am so tired. I have been up all night searching for the Senshi. I should probably call Serena. She will be upset. I hate when she is upset. Those beautiful blue eyes should never be sad. Those eyes should never be full of tears. I hate to see my Bunny crying, with real tears. Not that when she cries they are ever fake tears but when she is truly sad I cry too. Inwardly. Not much a man I would be if I cry outwardly. I heard a knock on my door. I sighed and opened the door. Serena stood there, her blue eyes wide and looked scared. I pulled her close to me.

"Bunny? What is wrong?" I asked her.

"You are real," she sobbed, "You are real…" I lead her to the living room and we sat down on the couch.

"Of course I am, Serena," I said, "Tell me what's wrong."

"They told me that none of this was real. That I had been in a metal institution for five years. That I made this all up. I made you up. Darien… Endymion… you are real, aren't you?" I hugged Serena.

"Of course I am real. Who told you this?"

"They called me Usagi. Said that Serena wasn't my real name but Usagi. And Sammy… he said his name was Shingo. I… I…" my Bunny began to cry again. I didn't know what to say.

"Bunny… it was a nightmare, wasn't it?"

"Said my friends were all characteristics that I wanted to have. But none of them were real. They aren't around now… what if you aren't real? What if I am crazy?" she cried between her tears.

"No Serena, my Serenity, listen to me. This is real. You just had a very bad dream. I am real. Mina, Lita and the others are real. Rini is real."

"Yes…" Serena leaned against me and her breathing deepen. I said nothing. I would just let her calm down. This was going to sound harsh but I didn't need this. The Senshi were missing and their leader was falling apart. I closed my eyes. I was so tired. There was no enemy doing this but there had to be. Why else would the Senshi leave? The Senshi loved Serena and they knew their duty. Within a few years Crystal Tokyo will take place and they would be needed. They couldn't just return. Would Serena just accept them back? I smiled faintly. Serena would. She had such a big heart. But I don't know if I would. They hurt my Bunny a lot.

I stroked her hair as I watched her sleep. She was calmer now. What a horrible dream to have! I leaned back against the sofa. I was so tired.

**Serena**

I opened my eyes. That warmth that was beside me had disappeared. I looked for Darien then realised that I wasn't with him anymore. Taking I deep breath I began to listen to Dr. Warner.

"...possibilities for a full recovery. But we need to be careful. If we act harshly with Usagi she will try to revert back. Mrs. Tsukino, please tell Shingo to be careful to what he says to Usagi." 

"So there is a possibility that Usagi will be normal again?" my dad asked. 

"Mr. Tsukino, Usagi's delusion is multi- layered. She believes she's some type of hero." 

"Sailor Moon?" Mom asked. 

"Yes. But that's only one part of it. She has created an intricate latticework to support her primary delusion. In her mind, she is the centre figure, the "moon princess". This world is beyond our imagination. She's surrounded herself with friends, who are also Sailor Senshi, who are as real to her as you or more. More so even. Together, with her boyfriend who is a prince, they fight overblown, grand conflicts against an assortment of monsters. But every time we think we are getting close to her, through to her, another enemy will appear-" I had enough of this. 

"My friends…. they have disappeared because of an enemy!" I jumped up, "They must be doing this to me!" Dr. Warner pushed me gently back into the chair. 

"Usagi… it's okay. There are no enemies here. You are safe here." I remember Rini. 

"Rini?" I whispered. I wanted my daughter… as annoying as she is… she was also one of the few people who could make this all better. 

"That's the daughter?" my dad asked. Dr. Warren nodded. 

"Yes. That her daughter from the future. Strange story, her and her boyfriend grow up to be king and queen of the world and this daughter is born. She is sent to the past to save Usagi, who is under a spell. This episode will affect the rest of her stories. They will begin to fight for this fictionist future," he turned to me, "But this created more conflicts, didn't it?" I didn't look at him. I didn't like what he was saying. It was wrong. Rini was real! I will marry Darien! My Senshi are real! This man was a nightmare; he was the one who wasn't real! 

"Your daughter. Your friends. all the people you created, they are not as comforting as they once were. They are coming apart. Having their own problems to face and aren't needing their Moon Princess to rely on." 

"No…" I whispered, "they are real. You…" 

"Usagi… listen to Dr. Warner. He is saying things that are important. Please Usagi." My mom whispered to me. 

"You are the liar… he isn't real…" I whispered. I wanted to wake up. 

"Usagi, we want to help you get better. And I think you want that too. Why else are your friends disappearing? Why would they leave without a single word? And your enemies. You used to create grand villains to battle against. And now what it is? No one. You claim to fight a nameless, a faceless villain. No one is there." 

"I want to wake up!" I cried. 

**Darien** 

"I want to wake up!" Serena screamed next to me as my eyes opened. I looked at her. She was crying again. 

"Darien… they say terrible things. Rini isn't real. You aren't real. My friends… they won't stop. Darien, make them stop. Please." my Bunny sobbed on my shoulder. I didn't know what I could do. I just hugged my Bunny.

"Bun? Why don't I make us some hot chocolate?" I offered her. Serena nodded. She loves hot chocolate. I walked into the kitchen and out on the water. I went to the cupboard and pulled out some chocolate covered cookies. I also knew how much Serena loved junk food and how it makes her feel better. I walked out to the living room with the cookies. I set the cookies on the table and called out for Serena. She wasn't on the couch anymore.

"Bunny?" I called out. I walked down the hall to see if she was in the bathroom or in my room, stealing a stuff animal. Yes I have stuff animals, mostly gifts from Serena or Rini. Still no Serena. I re-entered the living room and this time I noticed that the apartment door was opened slightly. I run out to the hallway, ignoring the screaming kettle.

"Bunny?" the hallway was empty. I leaned back against the wall. She had left. Where could she have gone? I walked back inside and picked up my communicator. I tried to buzz her but I heard the echo from her communicator in my apartment. She had left without it. Half wanting to scream I went and dialled her house.

"Hello?"

"Mrs. Tsukino? It's Darien, is Serena there?"

"No, Darien. I haven't seen since last night. She told me she was going to Amy's."

"Oh. Could you have her call me when she gets in?" Mrs. Tsukino agreed and we hung out. Where was Bunny? I walked back to the living room. There I was shocked to see a woman standing there, as if waiting for me. She was wearing a small red dress, without any shoes. Her green hair was piled up in a bun on the top of her head.

"Ah, Prince Endymion. Just the man I was looking for."

**Serena**

I ran. I had to. I couldn't look at Darien anymore. I had to get away from him. From the memories. From these lies. I ran towards the temple, memories flashing through my brain. Why didn't I realise this before? I clutched my Silver Crystal. This was a dream. I couldn't be a Moon Princess! People weren't reincarnated. I was insane. I had to be. I ran to the lakeside and fell to my knees on the shore. The waves tickled my knees. I sobbed. I wanted this to be over. I closed my eyes and I hoped that perhaps when I opened them again I would be normal.

~~~~~~~~

I opened my eyes. Mom sat next to me.

"Mommy," I whispered, "I am very confused." Mom smiled.

"Oh Usagi! Please stay with us. Everything will become better real soon, just please stay with us." I looked at my mother and nodded.

"I want to be normal. Make me normal again." I whispered.

A/N: Okay... I know the chapter was a little short but at least I posted! Just a couple of points about the story: first from now on, unless otherwise stated, it is all going to be from Serena/ Usagi's point of view. Second it will get a little confusing from this point on. I have a plan how to wrap this all up so please bare with me! Thirdly, thank you to all who reviewed. I love you SO much! :x (--- that's a kiss, right?) anyway, please read and review then you will get kisses too! later! 


	7. A Senshi No More

Chapter Eight: A Senshi No More 

Heki bowed before a mysterious being in the shadows. All that could be seen were the shining of two eyes.

"My Master, all the Senshi are now captive. Everything is under control." Heki reported.

"Good." The voice from the shadows answered.

"Master, everything is in place for the next step."

"Proceed."

~~~~~~~~

It has been several months since I last woken up at the hospital. I have been home for several weeks now. The doctors, and my family, were so surprised that I had recovered so quickly. They thought it would months, if not years, before I would truly free of that mental prison. I am a good actor. I pretend I don't remember anything about Sailor Moon or the Sailor Senshi. I don't wear my long blonde hair in two meatballs and I don't stare for hours at the moon. I've even started home school. My marks are really good. My parents are so proud of me. Sam- I mean Shingo and I get along better than we ever have before. Molly and I are friends again.

Since I am doing so well, my parents get me a pet. I could get anything I wanted. A dog, fish or even a hamster but I got another cat. Even through I'm not supposed to know about Luna anymore, I miss her so very much. In honour of her I named the cat Diana. It's funny, the cat is even the same colour Luna's child it, except there is no crescent moon on her forehead. I am a normal person now. In fact if you meet me off the street you would have no idea I spent five years in a mental institution. I am a normal adult now.

~~~~~~~~~

I ran downstairs to eat breakfast with my family. Molly is supposed to come over today. I sat down at the table and took two waffles from the plate. I watched dad read the newspaper. I sighed.

"Something wrong, Usagi?" mom asked. I shook my head and forced a smile. I have gotten really good at the forced smile.

"Nothing Mama!" I replied happily, "I think Molly- chan and I are going to go to the movies today. There is this movie about space worms we want to see."

"Space Worms?" Shingo cried, "I want to see that too!" I smiled at him.

"Maybe you and I can go later." I suggested. What a wonderful sister I am. Shingo frowned.

"But I want to go today!"

"Don't be such a whiner!" I snapped, "Don't you think I need some time with my _new_ friends?" I stressed the word new. Shingo looked like he had been slapped.

"Usagi- chan!" he whispered in shock. I stood up, my heart breaking, I ran out of the room and outside.

~~~~~~~

_'I miss everyone so much! I try so hard to forget them but I can't! I just can't forget them... I try even harder to return to that world but it seems I closed the door. I've called out to everyone. I am so alone.'_ I walked besides the river, remembering this was the river I pleaded to return to normal. I was normal now, wasn't I? Molly and her friend, Heidi, walked up to me.

"Your mom called me Usagi- chan. Are you okay?" Molly asked me. I shook my head. I didn't know Heidi very well but I am sure she knows all about my delusions. Were they just that? Molly put her arm around me.

"Want to talk?" I shook my head again.

"Mol… I am… just confused. I don't know where I fit in anymore." I answered honestly. Heidi brightened.

"My dad has a job opening at his office. Why don't you walk there for a while?" she offered.

"Doing what?"

"It's just a secretary job but I'm sure it will make you feel normal again." I inwardly smirked. What was normal? When I was Serena I had no job future… now that I am Usagi… utter confusion.

"I don't know, Heidi. A secretary job can be stressful. Usagi- chan, didn't Dr. Warner say no stressful jobs? Couldn't that send you back into nut- so world?" I glared at my new best friend.

"Thanks Molly- chan. I'm pretty sure that I can handle it. What do I have to do?" Heidi smiled at me.

"I'll talk to my father for you. Just show up on Monday." I nodded and made a face at Molly. I could do this. As a productive member of society I would forget all about the Senshi.

~~~~~~

I entered the office building. It was huge and impersonal. I didn't like it. I wanted to turn around and go home. A man in a black suit walked up to me.

"I am Edmund. Are you here for the secretary's job?" he asked me. I nodded. He smiled and replied, "Come with me." Dread filled me. I recalled the last time I had felt like this- when I was about to face an enemy. I closed my eyes for a moment, collecting myself. There were no enemies; that was a lie. I followed Edmund. He was kind of cute. He opened a wooden door and motioned for me to go through.

"Serenity- hime." I whirled around faced him.

"What did you say?" I demanded.

"Usagi, isn't it?" I nodded, turning red.

"I'm sorry… I thought you said something else." I walked inside. The room was dark with purple lamps. Hotaru flashed into my mind. For a second I walked to close my eyes and converse with my Saturn friend. No! No. Edmund smiled at me and began to walk me through my job.

***Hotaru***

I opened my eyes. I was at the Gate of Time. I heard the cries of my friends- their cries of power. _Mercury Aqua Rhapsody! Mars Flame Sniper! Jupiter Thunder Crash! Venus Love Chain, Encircle! Space Sword Blaster! Neptune Deep Submerge! Pluto Dead Scream. _I tried not to cry. Where were my friends now? Suddenly a woman appeared in front of me.

"Serenity- hime?" I whispered. She shook her head sadly. She had silver hair in heart- shaped meatballs. She was a Senshi. Her colour was white. It's hard to describe her fuku. She held a staff and it looked like the Silver Crystal rested on top of it. On her forehead was an eight-pointed star. Her eyes looked like Serena's.

"I am Cosmos." I gasped.

"Cosmos? Serenity's final form?" I whispered.

"Or I should be. But as it looks like now the Negaverse will win."

"No!" I cried. Cosmos filled me in with what happened with Serena.

"But… we didn't leave! No!" I was crying now. How could Serena believe those lies? How? We love her! We swore our lives to her! Cosmos smiled at me.

"You are her Shadow. Go help her."

"Her Shadow? How can that be? I thought I was Darkness." Cosmos again smiled. She seemed so warm. Like Serena does.

"If you were Darkness then you wouldn't be crying. You would welcome the Negaverse. You would not have fought Chaos but helped her. Dosei Hotaru, you are Serenity's shadow. Help her. Take your Glaive back." Then my Silence Glaive appeared in front of me.

"But Sailor Cosmos, I do not understand. Where are the other Senshi?"

"Only one may help. One who is composed of both. One who is a shadow, neither light nor dark." She replied. My message from before. I didn't understand but I knew I had to help.

"Saturn Eternal Power, Make- UP!"

~~~~~~

I laid on the floor. I was sure I had broken ribs. Was I lost in the delusions again? Heki knelt to me and lifted my face up.

"Pretty Moon Princess, you will suffer for what you did to my Queen." She spat in my face.

"Lies…" I whispered.

"You are such a fool!" Heki kicked me again. I rolled on my back, not even trying to fight back.

"Lies…" Edmund glared at Heki and sat next to me.

"You were easily fooled, Princess," Edmund said to me, "But what else can you expect? All your powers come from your friends. They were much harder to deceive." I felt my Moon insignia burn on my forehead. How I been so easily duped?

"Princess of the White Moon, you killed my mother but I will forgive you." Edmund whispered to me. Tears filled me eyes. Where my Senshi dead? Was Endymion?

"What?" I asked. My mind was tired and confused. For the first time ever I wanted to give up.

"Become one of us." 

A/N: I know... I know that was a bad chapter. But it was hard to write! I wanted the Usagi story to go on longer but I couldn't think of what to write. And I sorry. I don't do cliffhangers but I have MAJOR writer block! So here is what you can do to help: write a review! If you have any ideas please feel free to tell me your ideas! Or you could read some of my older stuff like Twin Sailors or Sailor Libra. Please review! 

PS- thanks for the reviews! 


	8. Becoming Who I Am

Chapter Nine: Becoming Who I Am 

Become one of them? Every bit of me, every part of me that was a Senshi wanted to say no! It wanted to fight back, to show them what I was made out of. But the other part of me was tired. I saw my life again as a normal teenager and I wanted to forget. I didn't want to be Princess Serenity anymore. I just wanted to let that part of me go. I just wanted to say Serenity died with Endymion on that fateful night. I wanted to say that Serena- no- Usagi Tsukino was born. Some normal girl who didn't fight the evils of the Universe. Who was normal. Could that be possible?

I looked at Edmund's dark eyes. The colour reminded me of Darien. My heart ached. I couldn't just forget it.

"What's stopping you?" he asked.

"Serenity," I said, "I just want to let go. Leave. Not be Serena anymore." I was crying again. Heki rolled her eyes.

"My Prince, we have the Inner and Outer Crust. We have Endymion's power. Just kill her."

"My mother never saw the potential this girl has. Usagi?"

"Make me forget… I don't…" Edmund grinned and placed his hands on her face.

"Relax."

****Hotaru*****

I reappeared in the park. I wasn't transformed. Chills shuddered through me. Something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong.

_"Become her Light within her darkness, Dosei Hotaru!"_ I began to walk through the park. I had no clue where I would find Serena. I knew I had to. I had to. I looked around and saw that everything was the same. Around the corner I saw Molly. I ran up to her.

"Molly!" I cried. She looked at me.

"Do I know you?" she asked. Molly and I weren't friends. I actually only talked to her a couple of times but she knew who I was.

"Molly Baker, it's me. Tomoe Hotaru! Where is Ser- Usagi?" I demanded. I had no time to waste. I could feel the power of Saturn rush through me.

"I don't know you." Molly said shortly.

"I am a friend of Usagi's! Just tell me where she is!" I commanded. I didn't have time to waste.

"Tsukino Usagi has no friends besides me. You must be a liar." My Saturn sign flashed for a second. Anger flooded me; I needed to find my Princess. Molly took a step back.

"What are you?" she whispered. I closed my eyes for a second; she had seen the sign.

"I am a friend of Usagi. She is in trouble."

"Her… delusions… how did they become real?" I totally broke my character.

"Damn it Molly! I don't have time! Where is she?" I cried. I could feel the darkness more strongly around my Moon Princess and my own fear began to grow. I didn't have the time. I couldn't fail Serenity again.

"She's at work…" Molly stammered.

"Where?"

"I… I don't know!" then Molly high- tailed it out of there. I sighed. Where was my Princess?

"Serenity…" I whispered into the quickly fading day.

****Usagi*****

My eyes opened and I felt a hand caress my face gently. I looked who it was and I didn't recognize the face.

"Who are you?" I asked. The man smiled. He had dark hair and deep navy blue eyes. He was really handsome.

"I am Edmund… Usa- chan? Do you know remember?" he asked me. I shook my head.

"I don't… remember you. Where am I?" I sat up. The room was dark, with only candles lighting it. I was in jeans and a turtleneck but I wore no socks or shoes. Edmund looked upset and cupped my face with his hands.

"My love, do you not remember? You honesty have no recollection of me?" he asked sincerely. I nodded. He looked away.

"I'm sorry…" I whispered.

"I was your fiancée until you broke up with me. I don't know why… then I found you again."

"Uh?"

"You were knocked out on the street… it looked like your friends beat you up."

"My friends?" Memories of eight girls flashed through my mind. Lita… Mina… Hotaru… "Why? I don't understand." Edmund kissed me and told me to relax. He told me that my ribs were broken and he felt that it would be better if I rested. I nodded and laid down again. Edmund…

"Edmund? Why don't I remember you?" I asked.

"Because of those girls! It must be because of the beating… you must have smacked your head. Do not worry. I'll took care of you." I closed my eyes. Safe. I would be safe. I could tell that was a feeling I hadn't felt in a long time.

***Hotaru***

I hurried down the street.

"Hotaru?" I heard a weak call. I stopped and looked around me. Amy limped over to me.

"Ami!" I cried and hugged her fiercely, "What happened? Why are you here?"

"They released us… did they change the world? Nothing is the same." she whispered. I nodded, crying now. The others walked up. The others walked up to me. They each looked terrible and weak.

"Where is Koneko?" Amara demanded. I looked away.

"I don't know… come. Let's go somewhere and I'll fill you in." 

**Author's Note: Urg, that has to be the shortest chapter on the planet and I say sorry. Major writer's block but I had an idea! I would like to thank all my reviews and especially the other who gave me the idea... I'm sorry I'm not mentioning you're name but I'm not online *stupid dial-up* and I have forgotten to write your name down. *please forgive* Anyway... I have no clue when I am going to update next... actually right now I am suppose to be finishing up my English homework... yuck! I will try to add the second part of this chapter... soon... but I am working hard on my other story *plug* _Not A Lie_... so I'll try my best. Okay... later! -blackflame **


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